I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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