have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You need a sexual gate keeper
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
