I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize