You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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