If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.