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• (707): View more from California

  so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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• (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Does he think you're psycho?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Officially...... yes.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We will go to karaoke

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I have tasted many bathrooms

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