There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext