Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
