The maid of honor just puked.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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