I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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