I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
