and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
