i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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