hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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