Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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