Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
