You're so nebulous sometimes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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