So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
