some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Text me some of your sweat
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
