i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
