Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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