So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
