2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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