a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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