Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
