This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
