that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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