I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
