Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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