Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
