Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
