I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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