careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need water and some morals
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
