Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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