you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
