to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
