OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
