found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
false alarm, still single
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
