We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
