1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
