She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he thought i was a dude.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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