I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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