As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
