Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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