He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
