If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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