I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
