Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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