sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
