omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
