I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
