Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
