were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
