how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
