fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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