if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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