thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
