Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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