Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would ride that face into the sunset
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
