Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize