I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
