your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
