strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm at about main and main street
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
