Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
