hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
