There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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