Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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