I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Every concussion has its silver lining
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
