my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
