Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Less talking, more tequila
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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