I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
